[spudcon]

back in Texas, Flint's chicken soup was just what made him sick. Improper poultry handling is another aspect of poultry sex which the lumberjim indulges in, often when his camel humped his leg and covered him with fictional slander. And raw elderberries! Much to his chagrin lumberjim started to lick off Carl's shirt buttons. You remember Carl the man with the kalidescope eyes isn't in heat, just smells goatish to the average goat owning Republican bashing left wing left testicle, left handed monkey wrench left at home. He then began to pontificate about his bloated pancreas, which looked like left over borscht. Meanwhile, in Kansas Dorothy and Toto were having sex again! But this was nothing new. Ever since Darwin and that platypus did the deed before marriage. Everyone has platypus ancestry and duck bills to go with their webbed feet and duck nuts that were very large and potent! He also had a very large and very impressive collection of balls which he displayed wherever and whenever he wanted to. However, She decided his balls sucked -- sucked balls, actually -- chocolate salty balls wrapped in a saran wrap sling getting very sweaty and ready for the bomb squad to arrive. Once he'd been detonated he could fart with complete impunity and a scale model of the most massive yet as yet unexplained brown corn canoe which floated the Dunube during a group sex session with six goats, a tub of chocolate pudding and five fat oysters.
After this feast he went searching for five fat bangers, and then banged them mercilessly on a pole in the corner, of the Vegas Strip under my left tit; so it flopped hard and landed on lumberjims enormous head. He fell to drinking hard and complaining about his lack of eating tasty, nutritional aphrodesiacs that made his heid even bigger!
Out of nowhere, came a headshrinker who took one look at the massive heid, and sat it down on a stump. Meanwhile, back at the police station a rectal examination was increasingly imminent to determine the size of the object up his, by now, painfully swollen and oozing fireman's passage. However as the shadows slowly take over my tiny brain and permeate the shockwaves of sex rippling through the pelvic floor of Ann Arbor Mall, it becomes evident this is over. Made with little boys in mind, the small replicas of their tiny phallic members only further proved that his sexual preferences were all-American! America! Fuck Yeah! Suddenly, Allah arrived. “Bless you my cellar dwelling charges, I am here to pump you with my mighty bike pump nozzle. Unless you're obscenely well endowed, then welcome in!" But if not endowed with the exceedingly largest bank account fuck right off. Allah said this! Then the monster with the flabby pickle turned to rip him a brand spanking new one, but just as he started a thirsty koala with HUGE paws and a huge ego, began to masturbate in the eucalyptus leaves. Then you can guess what Avon did. They chemically engineered that combo and marketed it as Juicy Fruit gum. The general public who were mostly not concerned with the origin of this delicious fragrance bought it like whores in church. For Valentines Day, not concerned with lavishing gifts or getting any then PETA made a complete 180, buying PETA = PITA easy as pie said the muffin to lady man with the tiny humping puking dog. Oh, lovely, said Bubbles, the Farting Ferret. I want some GasX, please for my aunt who has a case of the vapors. Ever since she accidentally ate the crackers I dropped in the industrial waste receptacle. She contracted O157:H7 which is AKA e coli bacteria, also known as, Mystery Meat Surprise.
I always say "You never know what sort of mystery your meat will get in, but you know when meat is as big as a Volkswagen, it's a lost cause." I say that, size is really important to me. When I reminisce
about Wanda's poon, it makes me all mushy inside. But poon can't always make me compensate for the memories of that one night in Thailand, where the glistening mounds of tw's longwinded bullshit just made me all mushy inside.
The Car Soccer mom drove was on fire and her acrylic nails scraped frantically on his belt buckle as she attempted to free him from the rare Jabberwock Jock fungus that had infested and mutated into a new strain of the deadly yet hilariously emasculating Hillary emasculating virus. Meanwhile, Bill was the mercenary for all interns who post on the interwebs when they use the Google. From now on cigars will be only smoked virtually thru the hole (he said 'hole') in Pelosi's head