whoa! have you been smoking crack again?
austere upper-middle class upbringing for me -no offal. (no private lessons either -my family were the poorer relatived of upper middle class

)
re making it for Brits: cocktail wieners in grape jelly? Does that sound even remotely like something you ate as a child? If so, you should have called NSPCC -not for the meat quality -which I think may be where your tangent came from -but the combination..... it's definitely in the maple syrup on bacon category.