[Henry]

........from Henry, of the 34" inseam, who rarely drinks soda but opts for Pepsi over Coke when he does, and who likes mustard and ketchup equally, using either daily depending on the foodstuff in need of condimentation: wherein tapioca demands mustard, peach cobbler calls for ketchup, and lentil soup deserves a healthy dollop of both.

As for any full frontal nudie pic of myself, I would not impose the image of a man with the above diet upon the collective retinae of the members of your fine community, an act of kindness that just might win my nomination for next year's Nobel Peace Prize.

Hello!