[Sundae]

My teenage crush and young adult BFF was a musician.
I went to see him countless times in local venues.
I adored him.
I got over my heterosexual crush on him, mostly because he was hooked up with one of the hottest girls in school and I knew I couldn't compare. My relationship with him was more like a fag hag (yes, he was straight.) He loved poetry, words, analysis as much as I did. We talked the world to rights, and to the next dimension and into parallel universes and back. I remember his metaphors even now and love him for them.

We fell out over my wedding. He dropped out at the last minute - singing a song during the signing of the register - because he hadn't had any opportunity to practice with the other friend. I hurt like buggery, blaming him totally because he was the one who backed out. Over years, I realised it was the other friend - who I moved in with after my divorce! - who had called the shots and made things difficult.

Anyway. Bottom line. His band was shortlisted for The Mercury Music Prize last week. He didn't win, but it's a massive accolade just to be shortlisted. I still love the man I loved back in the 90's. I'm going to buy the album that was nominated. And I have always missed him like crazy. I just think I left it too late.

Timothy Charles Sidney Elsenburg (I think that's right) of Sweet Billy Pilgrim, if googling ever leads you here, I miss you.