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Ok, now I had a minute to read through your text. Like I said,I aint no writer, so I applaud you for your efforts right up front. But here's my response.
It beats me over the head with forced atmosphere and forced romance- a tale, or movie Ive seen too many times- a cliche. Too much. apocolypse now+starwars+lancelot Shes a mythwomangoddesscharacter and at this point, I dont read anymore depth. Shes the canned unreal,floaty, and so I think, without quite knowing how to articulate it, you need to develop some realism, individuality, and some subtlety with this character- beyond the visual decription. Give her a brain. Give me some reason I would care for her other than her setup as the, yet again,dazed and tragically beautiful survivor of something hideous. And the flute playing knight romance - Bah! skip it and work on her. Maybe try writing her from the first person- that might help find a full character there.
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