The Cellar - View Single Post - Weight-Loss Thread

Pooka · 08-24-2009, 02:33 PM

This is a very personal post... and I chose to share it with you because I think perhaps... maybe... there is a chance that doing so will help me work through this and reclaim my body and my inner peace at the same time. That doesn't mean I want to be shredded... or analyzed... just allowed to speak... and supported in my efforts regardless of my success or failures.

Ok... now that I'm not nursing anymore and am out of excuses... I am determined to lose the 60lbs I need to lose before I can have the breast reduction I sorely need. Perhaps you guys can help motivate and encourage me? Please no negative feedback on this... I'm not looking for critisism... just cheerleaders for this endeavor.... if that is too much to ask please tell me now and I'll avoid the topic. I generally welcome it, but this is too delicate an area for me.

Yesterday Flint and I started a Flush consisting of the following:
Round 1: 8 oz unfiltered organic apple juice, 8 oz water, 3 tbls psyllium husks... drink very fast (revolting)
round 2: 16 oz water, 2 tbs organic apple cider vinegar, 1 tsp fennel powder, 1 tsp ginger powder, 1 tsp chickweed/ cinnamon/ licorice powder ... sip (nasty nasty)
repeat 3 times a day.
Drink sage tea (which is awesome by the way)
Snack on raw veggies, friut, dates, dried dandilion root, parsley, juniper berries (12 total), avacados, manna bread (it is a 100% sprouted grain and seed bread... that is cooked at so low a temperature it still qualifies as a raw food), sunflower/ sessame/ pumpkin seeds and amarath, raisins.
Dinner: Large salad (with parsley, romaine, red cabbage, red onion, apple, strawberries, broccoli, celery, beets, carrots, garlic powder, afalfa sprouts, seads and walnuts, avacado, lemon juice and first cold pressed olive oil) and brown rice cooked in organic veggie broth and roasted rood veggies.
Dessert: a few unsweetened carob covered almonds.... like 2

I'm down 5 lbs from Saturday. I know most of it is water... but that is part of the point... I know I'm retaining major water.... largely due to my diet and salt consumption... none of which occurs on this Flush. But I have to say... so far everything is tasty and delish... except the second round which I choke down anyway... it isn't about the flavor it’s about the results.

Tomorrow we will do the 2 phases and eat watermelon all day... then resume the above on Wednesday. After 7 days or so... we will begin to incorporate lentils and fish and later on chicken... all organic.

My goal is to stick with this for a month before incorporating other foods... to help me retrain my brain and my food obsessions/ addictions... This should give me enough time to develop a more healthy connection to food.

I am also requiring equal Wii fit and TV watching time of myself. And in the evenings instead of going for a night car ride we are going to go walking.

As to my food issues:. They are deep seated and multifaceted. My parents were large people who loved eating... over eating... they loved buffets and were the sort to force us to eat all we had on our plates. When the oil market crashed and we lost everything... we had to get food from a mission ... or we had nothing. So with that you ate when you could. Then, when I was in my teens... I became anorexic. I was helping to support my mom and brother and well... didn't want to be fat. I married my first husband at 18 and after 2 1/2 years ballooned up from 90 something to 110lbs (yes I know... that is tiny... stay with me on this) and my husband started withholding sex and telling me how fat and disgusting I was (yes at 110)... and after time I began to believe him... I became a binge eater and that 110 lbs became 190lbs... That is more than double the size I was when I married him. I guess I should also point out that I'm barely 5 foot 1" and have a very tiny frame... so at 110lbs believe it or not I was not as skinny as the number would seem... but still looking back I was clearly not overweight. After 10 years with my ex-husband I finally realized that his treatment of me and my tolerance of it was destroying my self-esteem and contributing greatly to my depression. This is largely why I would gain and not lose weight despite all efforts. I actually gained 13 lbs in 3 months on weight watchers. When I decided to leave him I did begin to lose weight, but then I met Flint... married him... moved a bunch of times and got pregnant... and well that brings us up to today. So despite my ex being gone, my parents no longer being in my home and having a fairly financially stable life I recognize that I still have a bad relationship with food. I still celebrate with it, reward and comfort with it. I still crave it like a crack head. I still eat it without thought. I still obsess over the next meal… the menu for the week… etc.

So I'm hoping I can stick with this and give myself a chance to reprogram my connection and establish a better view... food for fuel... food for health and a vibrant life. That is step 1... Then do the same for my workout regime... but one at a time... this has to happen for my exercise outlook to be maintainable.

I know you might have the urge to tell me to not be so restrictive with my intake, but let me stop you before you start down that road. I'm an all or none sorta person and from experience I know that if I give myself an inch it’s all over... its sorta like telling a crack head to just smell the rock, but not smoke it... we all know how long that would last... that’s also true of me. Once I give myself time to rewire I'll be better prepared to make better decisions... right now I can't.
So anyway... I need encouragement to stay the course.

08-24-2009, 02:33 PM	#104
Pooka Your Invisible Rabbit Friend Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Betwixt and Between Posts: 528	This is a very personal post... and I chose to share it with you because I think perhaps... maybe... there is a chance that doing so will help me work through this and reclaim my body and my inner peace at the same time. That doesn't mean I want to be shredded... or analyzed... just allowed to speak... and supported in my efforts regardless of my success or failures. Ok... now that I'm not nursing anymore and am out of excuses... I am determined to lose the 60lbs I need to lose before I can have the breast reduction I sorely need. Perhaps you guys can help motivate and encourage me? Please no negative feedback on this... I'm not looking for critisism... just cheerleaders for this endeavor.... if that is too much to ask please tell me now and I'll avoid the topic. I generally welcome it, but this is too delicate an area for me. Yesterday Flint and I started a Flush consisting of the following: Round 1: 8 oz unfiltered organic apple juice, 8 oz water, 3 tbls psyllium husks... drink very fast (revolting) round 2: 16 oz water, 2 tbs organic apple cider vinegar, 1 tsp fennel powder, 1 tsp ginger powder, 1 tsp chickweed/ cinnamon/ licorice powder ... sip (nasty nasty) repeat 3 times a day. Drink sage tea (which is awesome by the way) Snack on raw veggies, friut, dates, dried dandilion root, parsley, juniper berries (12 total), avacados, manna bread (it is a 100% sprouted grain and seed bread... that is cooked at so low a temperature it still qualifies as a raw food), sunflower/ sessame/ pumpkin seeds and amarath, raisins. Dinner: Large salad (with parsley, romaine, red cabbage, red onion, apple, strawberries, broccoli, celery, beets, carrots, garlic powder, afalfa sprouts, seads and walnuts, avacado, lemon juice and first cold pressed olive oil) and brown rice cooked in organic veggie broth and roasted rood veggies. Dessert: a few unsweetened carob covered almonds.... like 2 I'm down 5 lbs from Saturday. I know most of it is water... but that is part of the point... I know I'm retaining major water.... largely due to my diet and salt consumption... none of which occurs on this Flush. But I have to say... so far everything is tasty and delish... except the second round which I choke down anyway... it isn't about the flavor it’s about the results. Tomorrow we will do the 2 phases and eat watermelon all day... then resume the above on Wednesday. After 7 days or so... we will begin to incorporate lentils and fish and later on chicken... all organic. My goal is to stick with this for a month before incorporating other foods... to help me retrain my brain and my food obsessions/ addictions... This should give me enough time to develop a more healthy connection to food. I am also requiring equal Wii fit and TV watching time of myself. And in the evenings instead of going for a night car ride we are going to go walking. As to my food issues:. They are deep seated and multifaceted. My parents were large people who loved eating... over eating... they loved buffets and were the sort to force us to eat all we had on our plates. When the oil market crashed and we lost everything... we had to get food from a mission ... or we had nothing. So with that you ate when you could. Then, when I was in my teens... I became anorexic. I was helping to support my mom and brother and well... didn't want to be fat. I married my first husband at 18 and after 2 1/2 years ballooned up from 90 something to 110lbs (yes I know... that is tiny... stay with me on this) and my husband started withholding sex and telling me how fat and disgusting I was (yes at 110)... and after time I began to believe him... I became a binge eater and that 110 lbs became 190lbs... That is more than double the size I was when I married him. I guess I should also point out that I'm barely 5 foot 1" and have a very tiny frame... so at 110lbs believe it or not I was not as skinny as the number would seem... but still looking back I was clearly not overweight. After 10 years with my ex-husband I finally realized that his treatment of me and my tolerance of it was destroying my self-esteem and contributing greatly to my depression. This is largely why I would gain and not lose weight despite all efforts. I actually gained 13 lbs in 3 months on weight watchers. When I decided to leave him I did begin to lose weight, but then I met Flint... married him... moved a bunch of times and got pregnant... and well that brings us up to today. So despite my ex being gone, my parents no longer being in my home and having a fairly financially stable life I recognize that I still have a bad relationship with food. I still celebrate with it, reward and comfort with it. I still crave it like a crack head. I still eat it without thought. I still obsess over the next meal… the menu for the week… etc. So I'm hoping I can stick with this and give myself a chance to reprogram my connection and establish a better view... food for fuel... food for health and a vibrant life. That is step 1... Then do the same for my workout regime... but one at a time... this has to happen for my exercise outlook to be maintainable. I know you might have the urge to tell me to not be so restrictive with my intake, but let me stop you before you start down that road. I'm an all or none sorta person and from experience I know that if I give myself an inch it’s all over... its sorta like telling a crack head to just smell the rock, but not smoke it... we all know how long that would last... that’s also true of me. Once I give myself time to rewire I'll be better prepared to make better decisions... right now I can't. So anyway... I need encouragement to stay the course.