I'm so sorry.
Come to Kings Island!
http://www.visitkingsisland.com/
It's a really nice park. Kind of crappy compared to Disney - which sets the standard for awesome - but still, you'd have fun there. We love KI. It's a requirement for living in the 45-something zip code.

Seriously though, they do very well. We have season passes. It's not perfect, but you get your money's worth if you plan well.
And if you do, call me. I'll go with you!