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Experience the thrill of a lifetime! $300 for a shitty day!
Just like Thanksgiving at your in-laws!
Thrill to the joys of food poisoning from our undercooked hamburgers and over-boiled hot dogs!
Watch as Security gives the bums rush to those ethnically different!
Listen to your children scream on the way here "AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?AREWETHEREYET?!?"
Then, listen to them whine "All the good rides are closed! All the rides you took me on sucked!"
And then hear them say "I don't wanna leave yet!!" over and over as you exit the park!
Smile as you unwillingly fork over your hard earned cash for cheaply made Taiwan crap!
Feel the pain as your sore, blistered feet absorb the scorching heat of the day, radiating from our first-rate asphalt!
Enjoy the scent from our over-flowing restrooms!
So, come on down and spend your cash!
If you love your family, you'll put yourself into the poorhouse to line our coffers!
If you don't, the terrorists win!
And you don't want that, now do you?
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.
I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.
 
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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