The Cellar - View Single Post - Please excuse my emotional distance this week

Undertoad · 10-11-2003, 08:34 PM

Lumberjim, the "loss of a roommate" line is one of the best yet. You put it exactly how I need to think about it.

I'm built differently, I think, being an only child raised by a single parent mom. When she rejected me, the idea that there might have been someone else in the recipe really didn't matter. It would have been as much a problem for me if she had come back saying she tried to get laid and failed.

In fact I expect she's having phone sex with the dude in the very same bed we've slept in for ages. The hurtful thing is that we were never that intense. Never had phone sex. Although I was/would have been that intense for her, she never really was for me.

So, I think, for whatever reason, she wanted to believe that I was "the one", but I wasn't. And so she went the same way as, perhaps, Juju's friend's husband, the one who's "not gay". Like that guy, or at least who we think he might be -- she tried to believe she loved me, but never really did. Tried to convince herself she was sexually attracted to me, but never really was. Tried to make me something different, until I pushed back hard. Tried to convince herself that her upbringing was the problem and, thus, that SHE was the problem -- when really, the problem was US all along.

Unfortunate. But it does happen, all the time from what I've seen. Didn't think it would happen to me. Didn't see it happening...

But here's the good part: the next woman I hook up with is going to downright adore me, worship me, respect me, praise me and love me, because you people tell me I deserve it, and I believe you, and I'm never ever ever going to make this mistake again.

Look forward to that story when I write in in 2009.

10-11-2003, 08:34 PM	#116
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Lumberjim, the "loss of a roommate" line is one of the best yet. You put it exactly how I need to think about it. I'm built differently, I think, being an only child raised by a single parent mom. When she rejected me, the idea that there might have been someone else in the recipe really didn't matter. It would have been as much a problem for me if she had come back saying she tried to get laid and failed. In fact I expect she's having phone sex with the dude in the very same bed we've slept in for ages. The hurtful thing is that we were never that intense. Never had phone sex. Although I was/would have been that intense for her, she never really was for me. So, I think, for whatever reason, she wanted to believe that I was "the one", but I wasn't. And so she went the same way as, perhaps, Juju's friend's husband, the one who's "not gay". Like that guy, or at least who we think he might be -- she tried to believe she loved me, but never really did. Tried to convince herself she was sexually attracted to me, but never really was. Tried to make me something different, until I pushed back hard. Tried to convince herself that her upbringing was the problem and, thus, that SHE was the problem -- when really, the problem was US all along. Unfortunate. But it does happen, all the time from what I've seen. Didn't think it would happen to me. Didn't see it happening... But here's the good part: the next woman I hook up with is going to downright adore me, worship me, respect me, praise me and love me, because you people tell me I deserve it, and I believe you, and I'm never ever ever going to make this mistake again. Look forward to that story when I write in in 2009.