[ZenGum]

Gadzooks, woman, surely thou shalt split my sides in guffaws! Thy tongue runs like a drunkard elf, wine besotted and deep in rut.


But Behold! and alarum! Who be this drunken oaf, this beery leery wretch that staggers nigh?

Sir! Cast not your lecherous eye upon these ladies. Thy unkempt locks, thy grease-spot skin, unwash'ed in flesh or garb; dare you not to sully with your foul stench the very air they breathe! Stand off, I say!