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I've also been wondering what's been up with you, buddy. Long time no see your pixels. Welcome back!
As far as the thread topic goes ... I've been thinking about this and don't want to come off sounding preachy. It's not what you need to find your way through your life events.
Short answer is don't close any doors. Try being spiritual instead of religious for a while, see how it goes for you.
There are many paths to spirit. Some follow conventional beliefs, others esoteric. Some find spiritual fulfillment in the laugh of a child, or the fall of rain, or the light of the new moon, or in silence.
Blessings.
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