Quote:
Originally posted by Undertoad
I never understood it before; how can it be SO painful? Nobody dies, people are just trying to improve on life's situation.
But it's the emotional bonds that make it painful - take any non-marital breakup you've had, and multiply it by ten.
Practically every thought I've had for 11 years and in the 5 years before that when we were going out, has been with her involved in some way.
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You've hit the biggest part of it right on the head, UT. It hurts, because you *have* ceased to think of your partner as an individual, and started to think of her as a part of *you*. It would be equally painful to cut off a couple of toes. Oh, sure, you know you'll survive it and all, but it damn it, it hurts!
The other part of it is the rejection. It is simply hideous knowing that somehow, some way, against all reason, in direct opposition to everything you have tried to do...that someone would finally decide they were better off without you than with you. I'm still not over the shock of that from my first marriage, particularly when I see what I got traded in for. Sheesh.
However, none of this is an absolute, man. Therefore, it does not mean you have failed, or even done anything wrong. And, by the way, it *does* get better. It most definitely *does* get better...and this is coming from someone who gave some pretty serious consideration to checking out when he was going through it.
If you want some frank talk about my past divorce experience, you know how to PM me, but I won't drag it all across the board. It is a bit too sordid, but I promise some minor enlightenment if you do ask.
