[OnyxCougar]

Up until a short time ago, I was one of those people who "needed" a man to be happy. It's low self-esteem that makes people need approval and acceptance from others to be happy.

Then a relationship I thought was "THE ONE" ended extremely badly. I was suicidal. Planning it out. Then Kelle came home from Croatia and I realized exactly what I was doing, and WHY I was doing it, and suddenly everything clicked into place.

My mother had told me for years that I only had to love myself, and that any man that wanted to be in my life would fit right in. She said to live happy on your own, and if someone ADDS to that, great, but if not, you're still happy on your own. Finally that clicked. At that moment, I made the decision to move from Vegas to NC and make a completely fresh start.

The world began to look completely different. Things that people said that I would have been completely hurt over became "someone's opinion". I stopped caring what people thought about my clothes or what I said or what music I listened to. Things were ALOT better.

I even started posting here more, because I was no longer afraid of getting ripped a new one. I see alot of my former self in Luv now, and was deathly afraid of being on the other end of what went her way. But then I realized if I allowed someone to hurt my feelings (1) that I didn't know and (2) was done over the internet, not even face to face and (3) that chances are I'll probably never meet; then that's my own dumb ass fault.

I could go on with examples for a long time, so here's the heart of the already-too-long reply:

People in general are in a state of denial about their weaknesses. The adage that you are your own worst critic is one of the truest. Most likely they know their shortcomings and are too lazy/too weak/too scared to change it. Change is scary. Moving out of that comfort zone is terrifying. I agree with HP in this.