Quote:
Originally posted by Whit
So, HP, why is it that a long relationship with small gains is considered more "successful" than a short one with large gains?
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Well, firstly, I don't think the gains from the relationship I described are small. They can be enormous. That's what makes it a grand success. I have had some awesome short-term relationships where I learned a lot, and enjoyed the hell out of it. But they were nothing compared to the married relationship I'm in now.
I guess it goes back to the matter of goals... the size and difficulty of the goal determines the attached success. Which is more difficult... being happy and having fun in a short-term relationship, or being just as happy and having just as much fun in a long-term relationship? I've never been happier or had more fun than I do married... and I was a swinging cat for awhile there when I was single.
But I see your point in one aspect... long-term relationships, in which neither person is particularly happy, are still considered a success by some people. I think this is a matter of some peoples' fucked up priorities, and nothing more. Those are the people who live in fear of "ending up alone," and put finding companionship ahead of finding happiness, instead of realizing that if they can have only one or the other, they should go for happiness. Having both is great, but happiness should be required, and companionship optional.