I appreciate the advice, but I'd have a lot less fun if I was just lurking around quietly, because 90% of the time this forum is dead boring for me. I hope I'm not unforgivably insulting anyone by saying that, but most forums, without interesting topics, lively debate, and a bit of controversy, become basically group Livejournals. I think there are interesting people here, and I enjoy rousing them a bit and challenging them to show off how interesting they are.
Until I can get them to talk, I don't know.
I've been here a few months and I'm never going to find my place here by lurking. If I tried, I would probably just get bored reading about what a bunch of strangers had for lunch, and drift away. I could certainly do that if everyone still finds my presence unwelcome in another few months, but it's just as likely that you will have gotten used to me, I will have gotten used to you, I will have found a place, and everything will be just fine.
I don't think suppressing my natural personality is going to work very well. I went through a very abrasive phase for several months after my husband left, but... this *is* the softer version of me.
I don't want anyone else to go away, either, but if people are going to poke at me for fun, I'm going to do my level best to make it not fun for them.