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My favorite, which happens all day every day:
Me: "John Smith's office. May I help you?" (Or something along those lines...)
"Is John there?"
"Yes, but he's on the other line."
"Well do you know how long he'll be?"
What I would like to say: "Well let me get out my friggin crystal ball here..."
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Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever.
He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon.
I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.
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