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I LOVE Christmas! I'm Catholic and my wife is Muslim and SHE loves Christmas, Too.
Usually, what's left of the train wreck of my family (my dear mother and sister) come up for a few days and we have a wonderful time just hanging out. Christmas Eve, we open presents but it ain't about the cost - its about the appropriateness of the presents.
You are in a pickle since you are "competing" it seems with other family members for the kids "respect." Its a game you can't win. We stress no spending more than nominal $ on our kids who appreciate the attention more than the substance of the gift.
If you don't enjoy the trip - as modified - then stay home. If you really want to go, then go on your terms and tell everyone else (by your actions) the terms of your participation. If it isn't working out then look forward to not returning.
Family is good but it needs to be controlled.
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♠ ♥ ♣ ♦
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