I'm with the 'tell her how you're feeling' vote on this one. Maybe she sees those things she says as far less important than you do. Maybe she just assumes that you know she doesn't mean it the way it sounds.
Just let her know that it's not cool to do it in the first place, and it's even less cool to not say something when things have settled down.
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber
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