At our house it comes down to division of labor and planning. In their early years we didn't find it financially or emotionally worthwhile to do the daycare thing. I stayed home, took care of the kids, and built the
place. We both work now.
You have to find methods that work for you as a couple based on your personalities. Find out which jobs you feel are oppressing you and see if its something that can be split up. I know stay-at-home Moms who can't get their work done but it is generally a planning issue. We try to limit our runaround time by focusing on a few activities that the kids really like rather than trying to do everything. Good luck and take heart, nobody gets it all done.