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Pooka, he sounds exactly like Minifob was. He refused all bottles and pacifiers, never ever took one. Was interested in food from my plate, but only as a novelty, not to actually fill up on, and never ate any baby foods and very few toddler foods. He was always a terrible sleeper, but got especially bad at around 6-7 months, and would wake up every single hour needing to nurse for a second before going back to sleep.
For us, the sleeping came first, and then the weaning. I, too, was at the end of my rope, and at 9 months we just decided it had to stop. We let him cry it out. But not totally abandoned; his crib was in our room, and I just lay there repeating, "You're okay. It's time to lay down and go back to sleep," in a soothing voice. I was there and talking, but he could also see that my eyes were closed. It was 30 minutes the first time, and about 15-20 minutes after that for a few days, and then less and less. But overall, it took at least two weeks, maybe more, before he was sleeping many hours at a time. I increased the daytime nursing a little to compensate, especially first thing in the morning. I know there are many people who are completely against crying it out, but for us it was a necessity to get him sleeping at least a little more regularly. You have to balance the needs of the parent, especially if the stress is making you a less-good parent. I won't say it was easy for me to just listen to him cry, but one key for me was that by that point I could tell the difference in his cries between upset and angry. And they were usually angry cries. When he woke up and was obviously a little more upset, I would go over and let him nurse, but the key was I had to make that decision within the first thirty seconds, and stick to it. He learned quickly that if I hadn't gotten up after that time, I wasn't going to, and started waking up only when he really needed me. It wasn't for many months after that he slept through the night for real, but with larger blocks of sleep I was a lot more sane, so it was okay.
It sounds like Morgi being disturbed is the real obstacle. Could she move into your room with Flint while you work things out with Flintsy in his room? Or maybe have a vacation at Grandma's house? I have to admit, with a toddler bed it may be harder, if he can get up whenever he wants. Would it be possible to go back to a crib, with the toddler bed being a reward for acting like a big boy again?
After we conquered the sleeping thing, weaning was a lot easier than I'd thought it would be. By then nursing had been established as a non-constant thing, so he was more reasonable about scaling back.
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