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Pooka · 02-03-2009, 03:01 PM

I guess what it comes down to is that Flint and I want the kids in bed at a regular time and want to have adult time together... alone. That is what we want and need on a personal level… to unwind and relax. Flint from his work stress and me from my kid stress. Considering Flintsy was sleeping better than ever in his own bed not that long ago... he can get there again... (I'd be ok with the occasional every 2 hour day but don't want it to be status quo... and I don't think it is good for him either) I'm just not sure how to help him get there. We do not want to resort to breaking our backs by sleeping on the couch.

I understand where Flintsy is coming from... when he wasn't feeling good I was with him 24/7 and had boobie available at all times because he was vomiting and having trouble breathing... just trying to keep food in him and help him feel better because he was so miserable. I’m sure he thought it was nice having so much attention from Mama and so much boobie (who can blame him) and as we were sick for a month he grew to expect that... so when we were all better he wanted to continue, but the rest of us are ready to got back to life as usual. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and 100 days to brake one. I just don't have 100 days to break this. That’s the help I need...

I should point out that he sleeps in his toddler bed for naps just fine... and wakes and continues to play in his room until I open his door… when he rejoins his sister at whatever activity we happen to be involved in… usually lunch. So, there is no reason he couldn't do it at night ... the problem is soothing himself at night when he wakes up... he wants boobie to sooth him because this is what he thinks he has to have to go to sleep… but he doesn’t as he proved months ago.

I need... FOR ME... to have him nurse less... and I feel pretty confident that once he is nursing a more reasonable amount and eating and drink more real food he will be less winy and clingy again...he needs it and I need it for my sanity... so I can be a better parent... and wife and person... without it... I am literally going to loose my mind. I rarely ask for much for myself... but this is something I really need at this point in my life.

Bottom line. Flint and I agree it is time for Flintsy to go back to his bed and sooth himself to sleep... he can visit occasionally in our bed, but I think he deserves to have the independence to go to sleep on his own... now that he is over a year old... and again I stress... he was sleeping in his toddler bed... all night ... not that long ago. He was fine… until we all got sick in December. Yes I agree… there will be a time when he won’t want to sleep with me… and I’ll be sad for sure… and I do love snuggling him at night when he actually sleeps and doesn’t flail and gyrate and slap me and kick me and scream and attack the boobie on the hour or every other hour. Co-sleeping is great if you get to sleep… but that isn’t happening for me so much these days and I’ve reached a level where I feel mean I’m so drained and crowded… I feel like I need a few inches of personal space at least or I’m going to snap.

02-03-2009, 03:01 PM	#26
Pooka Your Invisible Rabbit Friend Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Betwixt and Between Posts: 528	I guess what it comes down to is that Flint and I want the kids in bed at a regular time and want to have adult time together... alone. That is what we want and need on a personal level… to unwind and relax. Flint from his work stress and me from my kid stress. Considering Flintsy was sleeping better than ever in his own bed not that long ago... he can get there again... (I'd be ok with the occasional every 2 hour day but don't want it to be status quo... and I don't think it is good for him either) I'm just not sure how to help him get there. We do not want to resort to breaking our backs by sleeping on the couch. I understand where Flintsy is coming from... when he wasn't feeling good I was with him 24/7 and had boobie available at all times because he was vomiting and having trouble breathing... just trying to keep food in him and help him feel better because he was so miserable. I’m sure he thought it was nice having so much attention from Mama and so much boobie (who can blame him) and as we were sick for a month he grew to expect that... so when we were all better he wanted to continue, but the rest of us are ready to got back to life as usual. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit and 100 days to brake one. I just don't have 100 days to break this. That’s the help I need... I should point out that he sleeps in his toddler bed for naps just fine... and wakes and continues to play in his room until I open his door… when he rejoins his sister at whatever activity we happen to be involved in… usually lunch. So, there is no reason he couldn't do it at night ... the problem is soothing himself at night when he wakes up... he wants boobie to sooth him because this is what he thinks he has to have to go to sleep… but he doesn’t as he proved months ago. I need... FOR ME... to have him nurse less... and I feel pretty confident that once he is nursing a more reasonable amount and eating and drink more real food he will be less winy and clingy again...he needs it and I need it for my sanity... so I can be a better parent... and wife and person... without it... I am literally going to loose my mind. I rarely ask for much for myself... but this is something I really need at this point in my life. Bottom line. Flint and I agree it is time for Flintsy to go back to his bed and sooth himself to sleep... he can visit occasionally in our bed, but I think he deserves to have the independence to go to sleep on his own... now that he is over a year old... and again I stress... he was sleeping in his toddler bed... all night ... not that long ago. He was fine… until we all got sick in December. Yes I agree… there will be a time when he won’t want to sleep with me… and I’ll be sad for sure… and I do love snuggling him at night when he actually sleeps and doesn’t flail and gyrate and slap me and kick me and scream and attack the boobie on the hour or every other hour. Co-sleeping is great if you get to sleep… but that isn’t happening for me so much these days and I’ve reached a level where I feel mean I’m so drained and crowded… I feel like I need a few inches of personal space at least or I’m going to snap.