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Well, humor,too. But I've run into the situation, similar to what you describe, where "making light" is actually a kinda denial response that stuffs the real hurt away to fester and 'splode another day. So, sometimes you just gotta own the pain to make it better. And with other people, you got to honor their pain, too. (which is what I think youre saying) Raw emotion can be very uncomfortable, but that's the ride.
One thing that helps me cope if I am in a funk, feeling overwhelmed, thinking too much, etc., is lone physical activity. If its big craziness- real sweaty, stupid, repetitive hard work you can beat up on with no talking. For more minor crap, a swim is always good for zoning out. It must be tied with some sense of battling for control. Sleep better too.
Another is music.
Least favorite way- drink. It sounds good at the time, but it really doesnt help. Of course, when the shit goes down, its always there.
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