[Shawnee123]

I feel like I could have written much of what has been posted here. I have been on the verge of tears for a couple days so I won't elaborate much. Suffice to say my ex is a wonderful person, I care very much for him, and I want him to find happiness. Hell, I want me to find happiness, but I'm not sure I ever will. Still, I would feel better if I knew he were OK.

Then I pile on my need to not hurt Homeless Guy. I do care about him...but I'm so tired of being responsible for everything, including not wanting him to feel badly. I went off on him this morning, and when I got here I called to apologize.

I think so many of us do feel that we bear the weight of responsibility for other's happiness(eses). I think this is why my whole life I would rather all the bad things happen to me, because that hurts less than seeing people I care about hurting.