[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

And once again it's all about the money.

No that is your continual assumption. It is about responsiblity that parents should have for adult children.

My parents have taken me in again at the age of 36. So far at no financial cost to them, but you could easily skew it to make it sound like it will be.

Really? You don't eat their food. They don't give you money or make you pay rent? Life is not free. All adults living in the house have a responsiblity to contribute. Hey maybe you could take on some responsibility around the house and work off your stay.

But yes, they would have taken me back in if I was gay. Why? Because despite the fact their religion tells them it's not acceptable, they are my parents and they love me.

As would I. The discussion was whether or not your actions hurt your parents and family and whether or not you cared. Being gay is not some sole act that any parent should abandon their children for. I certainly would not.

How many parents take pregnant daughters back in? Provide them with free child support to enable them to have a better toehold in the employment market than those with working partners? Apparently "encouraging unmarried mothers " doesn't benefit society. But but its all in the name of love and blood, and I respect that.

As would I. But I would also make that person take complete care of that child and learn to balance work, paying for a baby sitter, and taking care of her responsiblity and failure to take precautions for an unwanted or unplanned pregnacy.

What really bothers me is that parents who are commanded by their God to LOVE, above all, would turn their children away for something that science is starting to prove they were born with. It's as much a birthright as a disability would be. But if you do believe in God and are just going to follow the old Testament and St Paul then you are hardly following the teachings of Jesus. Or in fact of a decent human being.

Again you are only talking about the gay issue. MTP opened this up to include many other things. I say that if your parents don't agree with your adult decisions that you make as an adult, don't be surprised if they don't support you. What if your super-duper religious parents find out you are a nurse working in an abortion clinic helping women terminate pregnancies? You think they will not have a problem with that or that they should just accept you back into their house? All I am saying is that there are extreme examples of behavior that can hurt your family that may elicit responses that you did not expect. And you, as an adult making those conscious decisions, must take responsibility for. Not just being gay, but that was one example where you can hurt your family.

Okay - so someone chooses to withhold funds from their gay son or daughter. Now that is completely their choice. I'm not arguing benefits for those disowned by their families after all.

It is not all about money and gaydom. It is about decisions that hurt family members or parents by adult children that they must accept responsiblity for.

But say they go and buy pizza instead of having a 5 course wedding breakfast on their child's special day, take in Jimmy-Jo and Jamie-Bob as their hetero offspring lurch from one relationship to another or don't send a card to their daughter's partner's 40th birthday when their daughter has been with them for 20 years and the best the other siblings could manage was three... How well have they parented?

The best they could have. If you are already 40 years old and you are still blaming your parents for your decisions you have much bigger issues than what your parents did or didnot do as parents.

I don't expect parents to accept their children's lifestyle if they are whores, serial mamas, rapists, dug addicts etc etc. But if your child is not doing something that is outside the law and is not making any claim on you financially, then shame on you for not supporting them.

Who is to judge that? You? With your generally liberal approach to life? Who gets to draw the line? What if your adult child of 38 was on her third divorce with 4 kids and could not stop screwing around on her husbands. Is it your job to mortgage your future and give up everything you have to support her bad decisions and continual bad behavior. Please. There are so many examples of young adults today not accepting responsiblity for their bad decisions. I would certainly help the children as much as I could, but the mother would have to figure things out. She has to be responsible for her actions.

That is not supposed to a be diatribe about hetero couples or individuals, the point is that people are people when it comes down to it. With problems, issues, unpleasantness and all. To single out their sexual preference is as bad as judging someone on the colour of their hair, their height or where their Great-Grandad used to drink.

It bugs me that you would have such negative thoughts about people who were born homosexual that you suggest that your own children - having never committed a crime - are less worthy of your love and emotive support (sod the money).

I have no idea where you came up with the idea that I:

1. "have such negative thoughts about people who were born (if you believe that) homosexual" I have family extended family members who are gay. I don't treat them any differently than any of my other family members.

2. "that my own children have never committed a crime"Ah, but they have, although they were quite minor, it changes nothing.

3. "are less worthy of love and emotive support"You obviously have not been paying attention. I never said anywhere that one would be less worthy of love and emotive support, in fact quite the contrary.

I only said that their actions can hurt parents and family and that they must accept the risk and responsibility that goes along with those actions. In some cases family may withdraw material support and they should not be surprised by the results.