[Sundae]

When things are going down the shitter, it does not comfort me in the slightest to know that one day things might be better. And I think it's a smug get-out from people who are not suffering to brush off your pain with those phrases.

The most remarkable thing anyone said to me when my first serious boyfriend walked out (literally, we were living together) was, "I'm sorry. It really hurts doesn't it?" Bizarrely it was the most comforting, because she looked me in the eye and said it with sympathy, rather than feeling embarrassed when confronted by emotion and obvious failure.

From that day on I've always tried to consider the situation, the person and the emotion rather than trotting out trite phrases. Of course this does sometimes mean I mouth platitudes - some people seem to need them. The only things I won't say are to do with God and angels and heaven because that would be hypocritical.

Sympathy and understanding are wonderful. With humour, even better. But for me, the cliches are most often used by people as a shield rather than a blanket.

A really petty one here from me, people who say "see you later" instead of goodbye on a phone call. No you won't see me later, you're working on a Helpline in Scotland - I am unlikely to even speak to you again, let alone see you. Pick, pick.