[Sundae]

I get an almost sexual feeling of pleasure by delaying something.
When considering whether to put something off I feel physical tension in my abdomen, and the decision not to act feels like a release.

Then I put whatever I've put off in a box in my mind and pretty much manage not to think about it.
Trouble is, the locked box, the locked box in chains, the locked box in chains underwater... Well it seeps.

And after a while it starts to filter into all my other thoughts.
Until I get a gnawing feeling in my stomach. I can actually get butterflies thinking about it, but go through the whole decide, decide, decide - put off process quite a few times.

Eventually it assumes enormous proportions in my mind and the thought of it causes me real distress. I do it - whatever it is - and am able to relax again. But the feeling of relief afterwards is never as intoxicating as the pleasure of putting it off in the first place.

Just say no kids. Don't get started on the same slippery slope as me.