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Encourages dependence??
A lot more goes into a child's sense of self-esteem, competence, bravery and maturity than where he or she sleeps at night. There are a million other interactions with parents during the day that also feed into the development of his sense of self.
Just because a child knows he CAN depend on mom and dad doesn't mean he always MUST depend on them. A strong bond between parent and child gives the child a solid foundation on which to build - a safe haven he knows is always there, no matter how scary and difficult the world may be. It is the child who lacks that sense of security that is going to be fearful and resist challenges.
Though I was always very much available to my little ones for co-sleeping, either in my bed or theirs, both reached a natural point at which they no longer wanted to do it. I can't remember exactly when that was - probably 4 or 5.
Y'all have to get over the idea that a bed is anything but a bed. It is just a bed. It is just a comfortable place to sleep. Sure, you can do other things there, but you can do those a lot of other places too. In western culture "bed" is such a strong symbol of sexual intimacy that many people can't get over the idea that sharing it with a child is somehow a dirty thing to do.
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