[Sundae]

Sis

Interesting that you mention the carpets as if cleaning them was one of your chores, and then admit you are getting news ones only a couple of lines later "so it doesn't matter". Either your lies have caught you out (in which case you might have Alzheimers) or you cleaned carpets that are going to be thrown anyway in which case you might have OCD. Either way I don't acept either as an excuse not to get me a damned birthday present.

You do realise that there are people who have terrible lives full of house hunting and allergic reactions and falling down stairs and stuff and they still wouldn't dare let a sibling's birthday slip.

Please think long and hard about whether you really want us to be sisters in future, because quite frankly your performance to date could really show some improvement. If you feel you cannot live up to expectations I am confident I can find my children a new Aunt.

For the time being I remain
Your loving sister
Monster