Flint:
1 -- GOOD LUCK!!
2 -- You are about to enter the phase of your relationship with this (potential) employer where you will have the greatest amount of leverage you will ever have with them. It is a short phase, and it will be all downhill from here. Right now, assuming you are given an offer, you have something they want and don't yet have. They want you and they're willing to pay a price to satisfy that want. What that price is is not yet defined, but since they obviously want to conserve their money, lower is better.
Keep in mind that there are many ways other than net pay that can help close the gap between what you require and what they are willing to pay. The smaller the organization, the more flexibility you can work with. Starting with more paid time off, or starting at a middle point of the time off earning schedule is one. Other benefits like employer paid health care costs, or an accelerated vesting schedule for your 401k, travel expenses (partially) reimbursed. A signing bonus. Be creative. Be greedy (for now).
Think about what you want. Oh! Would they be willing to pay for your formal training? And give you paid time off for the duration? Getting that cert was important to you in a different thread, right? Show them your self improvement drive.
3 -- I agree with xoB's remarks. Especially about getting things in writing. A good way to finesse this is to listen politely to their offer. When you get it in writing, or ask for it in writing if it's not delivered that way to begin with, then say something like "This looks really appealing. I'd like some time to talk it over with my wife, if you don't mind. Could I give you my reply tomorrow/Monday/whatever?" They'll say ok. And if they don't do you want to work with someone who's inflexible on such a reasonable request right off the bat? This is important. Do this even if the offer is way higher than your top dream number. It will let you consider the numbers and the offer more objectively. It will increase your ... what ... cred? respect due? grrr.. Don't be "easy". I think you know what I mean. This works once. Now is the time when it works, not later. Not after you've said yes. Only before. And it diminishes in effectiveness each subsequent time you use it. *note*
3 -- Do your homework. Now. Do the same research they've done to see what the going rate for talent like yours is in their (remote?) neighborhood. Salary.com is a good place to look. Use their job title. Then use a few other similar job titles. Round up. Print out the three most favorable close matches and bring them to the second meeting.
4 -- Yeah, the second meeting. Remember, you didn't wet your pants with joy when they said they'd hire you and now you're back with a counter offer. This offer will also be in writing, it will be the research you did online for similar talent. They'll recognize the numbers, since they already did the same thing you just did. You're calling them. Your numbers will be fair. How can they say no? Well, they might plead poverty "Oh we're so young and small and we can't pay...." etc etc. Then you have a decision to make. That's when you need to bring in the other non cash enticements. Expect them to respond to your offer like you did to theirs--let me think about it and we'll call you back. **DON'T FREAK OUT HERE**. I know you want the job. Hang on. Wait for their reply to your counter offer. Then you'll know what to do.
5 -- Here is a link to
some examples of the kind of language I've used when this subject has come up. I try to invoke their self interest insofar as they want a quality product and should expect to pay *fair market value*.
As for HR jedi mind trixors.... Remember that the HR guy works for the company, and just like other managers of other company assets and resources (materials, facilities, inventory, HUMANS), his first loyalties belong to the company, not you, you puny human. Also, get stuff in writing. Don't be pushed into signing.
It's an exciting scary uncertain time, negotiating for a new job. But it is totally worth it.