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footfootfoot · 09-04-2008, 07:16 PM

Since I moved out of my parent's house at 18 I have moved 50 times. Wanderlust, restlessness, greener pastures, poor choices, bright ideas, cute girls. Every move/place had a reason which seemed compelling and natural at the time. Each time I made new friends and acquaintances and many times I found someone like lookout's A. Then the next move would come along and I'd lose track of folks who were just "good time" friends, but I'd stay in touch with the A's over the years.

One of my pals says my life is like a plane wreck; there is debris scattered across states.
Time has a way of polishing things and some of the A's turned out to be B's (play on words) and some became a's or a- and others became AAA.

Things also changed with kids, but the few, real friends either kidless or not haven't changed.

Each one is different. One friend is the kind of guy I could call and say "I'm stuck in EastCornflake and my car won't start." Before I could get any further he's say "Hang tight, find someplace to chill and I'll come get you." Even though I had Triple A, He's that kind of guy. (True, his wife has pulled the reigns in a bit, but still)

I think another thing about friends (and why my MIL hasn't got any and my wife is just learning how to make them) is that you need to let them need you as much as you need to need them. My wife got from her German mom (it may have nothing to do with being German, it may just be that family) this idea that you can never be beholden to anyone for anything. So she'd never ask a friend for a jump or to do her a favor or give her a lift. I realize there is more to friendship than the exchange of favors, but I think part of it is willingness to be available and to allow the other person to reciprocate. She always wants to be the person who helps and never allows the other person a chance to pay back the favor. My wife is beginning to see how that is unfair and can be perceived as a power/control issue by the other party.

I think it is about give and take as well as being of the same mind.

09-04-2008, 07:16 PM	#14
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Since I moved out of my parent's house at 18 I have moved 50 times. Wanderlust, restlessness, greener pastures, poor choices, bright ideas, cute girls. Every move/place had a reason which seemed compelling and natural at the time. Each time I made new friends and acquaintances and many times I found someone like lookout's A. Then the next move would come along and I'd lose track of folks who were just "good time" friends, but I'd stay in touch with the A's over the years. One of my pals says my life is like a plane wreck; there is debris scattered across states. Time has a way of polishing things and some of the A's turned out to be B's (play on words) and some became a's or a- and others became AAA. Things also changed with kids, but the few, real friends either kidless or not haven't changed. Each one is different. One friend is the kind of guy I could call and say "I'm stuck in EastCornflake and my car won't start." Before I could get any further he's say "Hang tight, find someplace to chill and I'll come get you." Even though I had Triple A, He's that kind of guy. (True, his wife has pulled the reigns in a bit, but still) I think another thing about friends (and why my MIL hasn't got any and my wife is just learning how to make them) is that you need to let them need you as much as you need to need them. My wife got from her German mom (it may have nothing to do with being German, it may just be that family) this idea that you can never be beholden to anyone for anything. So she'd never ask a friend for a jump or to do her a favor or give her a lift. I realize there is more to friendship than the exchange of favors, but I think part of it is willingness to be available and to allow the other person to reciprocate. She always wants to be the person who helps and never allows the other person a chance to pay back the favor. My wife is beginning to see how that is unfair and can be perceived as a power/control issue by the other party. I think it is about give and take as well as being of the same mind. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs