[footfootfoot]

The inch has been hanging around the jobsite the last few days and his self appointed job is the keep the minions out of mischief. Since I blew out my rotator cuff (before Flint, the copycat) I have enlisted the help of a couple of strapping youths the help with the ongoing moneypit saga.

Anyway the inch has dubbed himself "mischief hammer" and is doing his rounds to keep everyone on the up and up. When I left one day he said to the guys "Hey Foot left, we can do mischief!" (As his self appointed position was to keep the guys out of mischief, this is a bit out of character...)
David: What kind of mischief should we do?
Inch: We could cut all the boards too long.
D: What else do you think we could do?
I: We should take apart the whole house!


Last month, after his cast came off, we were driving in the car and he told me "There was a guy who broke both his arms and both his legs and he had to walk around on his penis! People would look at him and say 'Do you have a foot on the end of your penis?' and he'd say 'Yes.' Isn't that crazy?"

Today he was up on a ten foot ladder and started screaming "HELP! HELP!" This is a kid who has been climbing on scaffolding since he was two, it's his jungle gym. So I look up and wonder WTF? "What's The matter?" I ask him.

(panic) "There's a japanese beetle stuck in my ear!"
(calm reason) "How did a Japanese beetle get stuck in your ear?"
(milder panic) "I put my (we'll come back to this later) Japanes beetle in my ear, and now he's stuck"
(calm, growing annoyed) "Why did you put a Japanese beetle in you ear?"
(simpering) "I thought it would be funny, but it isn't."
I airlift him off the ladder and we march upstairs, I get my trusty old roachcli, I mean hemostat, and grab the last visible leg in his ear canal, and yank the thing out.

Later on I quizzed him about "his" Japanese beetle.
"Whose Japanese beetle was that?"
"It was nobody's; It belonged to the garden."