My parents came from poor backgrounds, but we still had table manner rules. We all sat together and there was no tv on, well we didn't actually
have a tv, so that wasn't an issue. Napkins in our laps, using please and thank you, passing to your left. No loud noises, slurping, burping, or flatulence at the table. If you need to cough or sneeze, excuse yourself from the table and leave the room. Don't leave the table until you've asked to be excused and permission is granted. No elbows on the table and don't play with your food or utensils.
I've passed on these basics to my children, although we're not terribly strict, we do want our children to be feel comfortable no matter what sort of event they are participating in.
However, I found after I grew up, I was completely unprepared for formal dining. Three knives, four forks, three spoons, three glasses, several plates, and sorbet being served between courses. Never put your napkin in your lap until the host(ess) does, always put the knife on the place-blade facing inwards, but never leave the soup spoon in the bowl, it is always placed beside the bowl. Only sip soup from the side of the spoon, don't insert the spoon into your mouth and leave your napkin on your chair, not the table. Is there such a thing as carrying manners to an extreme?
In my travels, I learned many other countries customs, but usually they are tolerant of guest's errors.
Oh, when out in restaurants, I often have complete strangers come to our table and compliment my children for being so well-behaved. That's always a good feeling
.
Stormie
ps: Cicero, the rule of keeping elbows off the table is a courtesy for your tablemates. If you were to accidentally knock over a drink or dump their soup into their lap, it would be rude. There is less chance of that happening if the awkward and angular elbows are by your side and not being swung around where the food is located.