[Crimson Ghost]

Ah, yes, the sorority.

This is a time honored tradition in American culture, where places of higher learning group together young women of similar age, and socio-economic groups.

The main effect of this grouping is to help these young waifs learn that it is wrong to be different, and that mocking and belittling those who are different is the only way to succeed in life.

In addition to this valuable life lesson, these future home-makers are taught that the only things that matter in life are success, money and power. And that the acquisition of these things is paramount.

Of course it's not all work!

Sororities also teach these young ladies how to pillow-fight in their underwear, when to put out for the captain of the football team, and that college is the best time to experiment. Especially with their sexuality. It is almost mandatory that these nymphs sleep with each other, so as to gain a better understanding of their bodies, and in the process, become better acquainted with the bodies of those who'll be lifelong friends, and sometimes even more.

Yet, even as these life lessons are imparted to them, dangers still abound.

Every year, countless young ladies are lost to homicidal killers hiding in the basements of the sorority house. One would assume that the sound of a chainsaw would send them running in fear. But, alas, no. The mere sound is enough to attract cute, curvaceous co-eds to their doom.

Running though the woods in high-heels while being chased by a knife-wielding madman is now being taught in many state universities,

Spur-of-the-moment sexual encounters, occurring while a murderous psycho is on the loose, is another cause of alarm for many faculty across this great nation of ours.

But, the biggest hazard facing college co-eds today is the "Caribbean Trip".
So many young, nubile, photogenic co-eds are disappearing these days, one would assume that a "white slavery sex ring" was claiming them. Only time will tell, although one theory has suggested that America's institutes of higher learning should send as many co-eds as possible, all at once, so as to overburden the possible killers, and end their reign of terror once and for all.