Affairs of the Heart
A mortician was working late onenight.
He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a
startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had everseen!
'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician commented, 'I can'tallow
you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must! besaved
for posterity So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and tookit
home'I have to show you something you won't believe,' he saidto his
wife,opening his briefcase
'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead?!?!'
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Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside>
He looked up and said weakly, 'I have something I must confess.'
'There's no need to,' his wife replied.
'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,your best
friend, her best friend, and your mother!'
'I know, I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison
work.
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"Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"
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