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Well then it's Miracle Armor (TM)! It's awesome! Overlooked in the first post because... because I hadn't posted *injury* statistics yet! Now that I have, Miracle Armor (TM) saves the day! There's no injury with Miracle Armor (TM)!
It's Billy Mays for Miracle Armor (TM)!! Miracle Armor (TM) even works against shaped charges when a heavily armored vehicle floor can't stand the blow!! Use it to replace mere hard hats at construction sites!! IEDs don't stand a chance -- your troops live or Triple Your Money Back!!!!
when used as directed. offer void in failed states. here's how to order.
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