[Elspode]

Trust me, the ingrained notions of love and relationships that we all have do *not* prepare one for this lifestyle. Even as I am waxing poetic about the positives of Poly, I am still stricken by pangs of pain, fears of abandonment, little bits of dissatisfaction over a lack of time with Selene while she spends every possible free moment with K. But, when I reflect, I realize that those are almost always times that *I* have something else going on, or there is a class that she would be teaching or attending anyway, so I'm not *really* losing time I would have otherwise had.

I do seem to absorb, process and adapt rather quickly, though. As we three (S, K and myself) were sitting talking last night, I felt profoundly comfortable, in place, a part of a larger whole. I felt a sense of functional rightness with it all. I slept alone in our marital bed last night, but when I woke, Selene was right there to hug me and kiss me and tell me she'd miss me (nice rhyme, eh?) while they were out of town overnight. It was...well, *right*. It was the exact exchange of thoughts, love and energy that I needed, all tied up in a five minute slice of time.

Truly, the only way for this to work is to release the fears, and that is *so* very hard to accomplish. I do not have an especially high self image, but I do think I am confident and thoughtful. Usually, those attributes work pretty well in wading through this always interesting lifestyle of ours. Selene has her own fears, and we find ourselves constantly juggling our fears, our hopes, our reinforcements of love for each other while we expand our world and share of ourselves with our respective partners outside of our relationship.

I do *not* recommend this lifestyle to you, SG. I don't really recommend it to anyone, in fact. But, for a certain kind of person, or couple, it beats abject misery and eventual divorce by a large margin.

I am, however, in no way amazing, and never shall be. I'm just this guy, you know? The Zaphod Beeblebrox of my neighborhood, perhaps, but just a guy.

Bruce: Bacon? You could fry a slab on L's belly...and I intend to.