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Undertoad · 03-21-2008, 11:42 AM

8

So things were not going all that well, and the commune wasn't really happening; they came and put more of us in jail. Yeah see it turns out that was a mistake, because instead of all of us being in one place, when they broke us up we were everywhere, preaching as hard as ever. This one guy Philip kicked particular ass in Samaria, converting all kinds of people.

Before Philip got there, this guy Simon was doing magic tricks and the people were really taken by him, figuring that he had some kind of God mojo. Well the cool thing is, Simon listened to Philip, and believed him; and so the people who were fooled by Simon figured hey, this was our guy before, now he says this new stuff from Phil is the right stuff, he must be right!

When Simon heard that you could get the serious mojo just by having one of the Exec Board TOUCH you, he went to them with a big pile of cash; they explained, you moron, we're not Scientologists; your money means shit to us and if you think you can just buy your way into this thing, you are sadly mistaken.

Phil, meanwhile, was told by an angel to go work his stuff in the Gaza Strip, where he converted an important Ethiopian and then was shuttled off by the Spirit on a railroad tour, preaching from town to town.

9

One of the head Jews, Saul, was the main opposition and one of the guys who got Stephen killed. Well one day Saul was just walking along with his troops when there was a light from the sky and Jesus himself! yelled at Saul and told him to go into the city where there'd be more plans for him.

Saul was of course totally petrified at this point, and went blind and didn't eat or drink for three straight days. One of our guys was then told by the Lord to go and find Saul, and just touch him, and Saul would get his sight back.

Well lo and behold it went down exactly that way, and Saul was like, shit, you guys were right along. Now he's preaching too -- a Jew preaching Jesus in the synagogues!

You guessed it, this pissed off the Jews again, and they were going to kill him so we ferreted him back to Jerusalem. The people there were like "Fuck, it's that asshole Saul!" But the Exec Board worked out that he was one of us.

It went on... case after case we converted people.

03-21-2008, 11:42 AM	#15
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	8 So things were not going all that well, and the commune wasn't really happening; they came and put more of us in jail. Yeah see it turns out that was a mistake, because instead of all of us being in one place, when they broke us up we were everywhere, preaching as hard as ever. This one guy Philip kicked particular ass in Samaria, converting all kinds of people. Before Philip got there, this guy Simon was doing magic tricks and the people were really taken by him, figuring that he had some kind of God mojo. Well the cool thing is, Simon listened to Philip, and believed him; and so the people who were fooled by Simon figured hey, this was our guy before, now he says this new stuff from Phil is the right stuff, he must be right! When Simon heard that you could get the serious mojo just by having one of the Exec Board TOUCH you, he went to them with a big pile of cash; they explained, you moron, we're not Scientologists; your money means shit to us and if you think you can just buy your way into this thing, you are sadly mistaken. Phil, meanwhile, was told by an angel to go work his stuff in the Gaza Strip, where he converted an important Ethiopian and then was shuttled off by the Spirit on a railroad tour, preaching from town to town. 9 One of the head Jews, Saul, was the main opposition and one of the guys who got Stephen killed. Well one day Saul was just walking along with his troops when there was a light from the sky and Jesus himself! yelled at Saul and told him to go into the city where there'd be more plans for him. Saul was of course totally petrified at this point, and went blind and didn't eat or drink for three straight days. One of our guys was then told by the Lord to go and find Saul, and just touch him, and Saul would get his sight back. Well lo and behold it went down exactly that way, and Saul was like, shit, you guys were right along. Now he's preaching too -- a Jew preaching Jesus in the synagogues! You guessed it, this pissed off the Jews again, and they were going to kill him so we ferreted him back to Jerusalem. The people there were like "Fuck, it's that asshole Saul!" But the Exec Board worked out that he was one of us. It went on... case after case we converted people.