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So about 4 o'clock, Peter and John head to the temple, and some guy is BEGGING outside because his legs don't work. They never worked since he was born. And Peter was like, money? Dude we live in a commune. But if you believe the stuff we believe, you could walk.
And damn if he didn't stand right up. Somehow his bones got fixed right there and then.
And when people saw that, they were like dude! They all came around to ask WTF, and Peter told 'em: check it, that's what you get if you hang with us. You Jew assholes believed in Judas. But even your own books tell you that someday God will put his power into a regular dude. Well that dude was Jesus.
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Boom! Now we got 5000 people listening. And Peter keeps on explaining, just like that lame guy, anybody can get this kind of power if they believe Jesus was the guy God sent. And this is the only way you get this kind of power. If you think God sent somebody else, you're fucked.
After Peter was done, the people were hanging around outside: and they figured, hey, these guys seem pretty sure of themselves and they didn't even finish the 6th grade. It sure looks like they fixed that lame guy. There must be something to this. But we're Jews, and if this Jesus nonsense spreads it could be trouble. Let's get the cops involved and pass a law, get them to stop.
But Peter and John were like "Stop? All we're doing is telling people what we saw and heard. That lame guy was like 44 years old BTW."
Some people were like, 44! I guess they have a point. Let's join em. Then we can heal people too.
And so they did, and now there's like another 5000 people believing and living in this kind of happy socialism.
And even better, people are selling their land and giving us all the money for it.
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