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I think that, since this is basically about being with a mate, I'd have to consider whether or not the potential partner is worth the risks of uprooting my entire life. I'd have to be entirely certain that he was was very low risk and very high reward.
You love your family, you love your job (or so it seems for the most part)...is your love for the guy equal to or greater than the sum of these other known quantities?
Best of luck in this, Ducks. At least there's love all around.
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"To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog
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