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Shawnee123 · 02-21-2008, 11:20 AM

lookout, I've been thinking a lot about this thread.

I'm kind of in the opposite boat...or the same boat in a different river, or a different boat in the same river. I don't know.

Though many dwellars know I have been unhappy at my job for a while, I think it has always revolved around the fact that we are grossly underpaid and unequal in the eyes of the powers that be to others who just make a bigger initial splash. This dilemma is not surprising, and at the core of it all I still loved what I did (deep down), felt I was making a difference, and liked the place where I work.

In the past couple weeks I have been realizing more and more that none of those things are true anymore. And I don't know if it's from being beaten down year after year so that the unhappiness overshadowed the satisfaction, or if I have just become so jaded I don't care anymore about helping, or if I really need a change in my life.

In the past couple weeks I find it increasingly difficult to put up with the bad parts of the job (and every job has them) and I don't know if it's because being unable to get out of the worrying about finances and future or because I have just, simply, burnt out. In one breath I tell myself I am only human and no wonder I feel this way. In the next breath I hate myself for not being content to try to do good things and a good job.

I've lost my drive and my intensity. For me, it seems that since money is not keeping me here, and I have no family for which to provide, it is time to move on.

But to do WHAT? Ay, there's the rub. What do I want to do? Do I think I'd be happier with a mindless job that pays more, that I can leave at work when I leave work? Would I be happier to stay poor if I felt that I was valuable?

(I know the old argument about money not buying happiness. That's a no brainer. I also know that the constant worry about just living takes the gleam off of any light I do feel in the world...I don't want much, just a bit of peace of mind.)

So, where do I go? What do I do? Is it crazy that I'm thinking about being a Veterinary Tech? I love animals, and I know it would be hard to see ones sick or in pain, or dying...but I think I would love it, too.

Eh, I guess this is just another of my "woe is my job" posts, and can be ignored as needed...but the difference is that I have reached deep down inside myself and I honestly can't say I have any joy in my job anymore. I can't put aside the joylessness to try to care. I can't watch the people who still find the joy without wondering what the eff is wrong with me.

So, where do I go now?

Thanks for listening, any one who has. I just needed to get this out.

02-21-2008, 11:20 AM	#23
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	lookout, I've been thinking a lot about this thread. I'm kind of in the opposite boat...or the same boat in a different river, or a different boat in the same river. I don't know. Though many dwellars know I have been unhappy at my job for a while, I think it has always revolved around the fact that we are grossly underpaid and unequal in the eyes of the powers that be to others who just make a bigger initial splash. This dilemma is not surprising, and at the core of it all I still loved what I did (deep down), felt I was making a difference, and liked the place where I work. In the past couple weeks I have been realizing more and more that none of those things are true anymore. And I don't know if it's from being beaten down year after year so that the unhappiness overshadowed the satisfaction, or if I have just become so jaded I don't care anymore about helping, or if I really need a change in my life. In the past couple weeks I find it increasingly difficult to put up with the bad parts of the job (and every job has them) and I don't know if it's because being unable to get out of the worrying about finances and future or because I have just, simply, burnt out. In one breath I tell myself I am only human and no wonder I feel this way. In the next breath I hate myself for not being content to try to do good things and a good job. I've lost my drive and my intensity. For me, it seems that since money is not keeping me here, and I have no family for which to provide, it is time to move on. But to do WHAT? Ay, there's the rub. What do I want to do? Do I think I'd be happier with a mindless job that pays more, that I can leave at work when I leave work? Would I be happier to stay poor if I felt that I was valuable? (I know the old argument about money not buying happiness. That's a no brainer. I also know that the constant worry about just living takes the gleam off of any light I do feel in the world...I don't want much, just a bit of peace of mind.) So, where do I go? What do I do? Is it crazy that I'm thinking about being a Veterinary Tech? I love animals, and I know it would be hard to see ones sick or in pain, or dying...but I think I would love it, too. Eh, I guess this is just another of my "woe is my job" posts, and can be ignored as needed...but the difference is that I have reached deep down inside myself and I honestly can't say I have any joy in my job anymore. I can't put aside the joylessness to try to care. I can't watch the people who still find the joy without wondering what the eff is wrong with me. So, where do I go now? Thanks for listening, any one who has. I just needed to get this out.