Quote:
The boys went for the toy with male properties in terms of colour and shape, rather than content and the girls likewise. This suggests an instinctive, rather than societally formed choice.
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I don't buy that conclusion in the slightest. Society tells girls they should play with dolls, but society doesn't tell girls their things should be pink? I think it's interesting the girls chose based on the color rather than the fact that it was a gun, but I don't think you can make the claim at all that this means pink is somehow "instinctive." Hundreds of years ago pink was societally a boys' color because it was agressively vibrant, while blue was a girls' color because it was more demure.
That said, I do believe there is an instinctive understanding of what one likes--and
typically, those do fall along the traditional gender expectations. We have stereotypes for a reason. My son has shown a very distinct preference for toy cars since he was six months old. But that doesn't
make him a boy, just like wanting to wear dresses doesn't make this kid a girl.
I agree with you and monster that this kid should be allowed to act however he wants to act. But I agree with Bruce that the adults (by which I really mean his parents; even if they didn't want to comply the school's hands are pretty much tied by the threat of a discrimination suit) are trying too hard to be accomodating. It is a medical fact that he is not a girl, he is a boy who likes to wear dresses. I was a big ol' tomboy, who wore dirty t-shirts and played rough games and had almost exclusively male friends until puberty--and while it occurred to my mother that I might end up being a lesbian, no one ever encouraged the idea that I was male, because I wasn't. The girls in my school thought I was a little strange, to be sure, but I am quite certain the boys would have rejected me too had I suddenly started claiming I
was one. And that is ultimately my problem with this whole situation: it is not going to accomplish what the little boy wants. His peers are
not going to simply pretend he is a girl, even if the teachers manage to keep the bullying to a minimum. You can't make the other kids believe something they know isn't true, and they are going to reject him. The parents ought to be wise enough to see that, and while there is a time and place for letting kids learn their own lessons the hard way, I think in a situation this psychologically delicate they should be helping him choose the path that will ultimately have the least traumatizing outcome for him.