[BigV]

Divorce Busting is my second hit. I'll go back in a minute to explore the intervening posts; for now, thank you. Writing the thread opener was useful to me in that I .... accidentally hit upon the word "coach". This was a lucky stroke for me, it has produced some leads that are more specifically what I want--help with our marriage.

This second link I found had this excerpt which resonated loudly with me:

1 -- Take a deep breath.

We know this is the most difficult time in your life, but we are going to help you come up with a plan to save your marriage and feel better right away. Divorce Busting® coaching is for you if:

* Your marriage is in trouble and you want to feel closer to your spouse.
* You are on the brink of divorce, or even in the midst of divorce proceedings.
* You and your spouse live under one roof but are emotionally disconnected.
* You're currently separated and may have little contact with your spouse.
* There has been infidelity and/or an emotional affair.
* You frequently have the same old arguments about sex, money, communication styles, parenting, step-families, extended family, friends, how free time is spent, religion, and so on.

2 -- Stop pressuring your spouse to work on your marriage.

It's natural to try to persuade your spouse to stop being so pessimistic about your marriage and to commit to working things out. However, you've probably noticed that the more you've tried to convince your spouse that your marriage is worth saving, the more your efforts have backfired. So, the first thing you need to do is to stop lecturing, pleading, crying, or pressuring, sending flowers, cards or heart-felt letters. You're actually pushing your spouse out the door!

3 --Know there's a more productive way to get through to your spouse.

People who are successful in life, don't work harder, they work smarter. It's not that you haven't been trying hard enough; it's just that you haven't been doing the right things to get through to your spouse. Your Divorce Busting® coach will help you figure out exactly what you need to do or say differently to get things back on track. Plus, Divorce Busting® coaching is for you. You don't need to ask your spouse to speak to your coach. By changing your approach, you will learn how to improve your relationship without his/her participation.