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Originally Posted by DanaC
Are there not 'marriage counsellors'? I assume you've already looked for online community groups for this purpose. There are usually some good ones out there for most experiences you may be going through. If they are out there they'll have a message board and you may be able to source some real world help via that.
's all i got mate. Hope you can find what you need.
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At this link, you'll find this excerpt. It matches my sad experience perfectly.
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But much to my disappointment, the courses, books, articles and even the mentor did not offer me a plan that even tried to improve marriages. Much of what I learned was to help couples make the most of their upcoming and inevitable divorce! There was almost a deliberate effort to demonstrate that the couple should never have married in the first place, and that divorce was their best choice for future happiness and fulfillment.
At that time, the devastating effects of divorce on children were not understood, and counselors were telling couples that their children would do better after their divorce because they would not be subjected to all of the fighting that was going on. No one seemed interested in teaching the couple to STOP FIGHTING!
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The "marriage counselors" I've encountered have been sympathetic, and articulate, but have not placed and emphasis or value on our marriage. The lines above in bold text... my experience. It's not working, it's not what I want, and I'm not buying it anymore. It has value to the limited extent that I gain skills to increase my self awareness. And I use those skills to see even more clearly how unhappy I am at the what mess I'm making of my marriage. Gee. Thanks.