[BigV]

When I sleep, I like to be bundled up.
I imagine when I was a baby I was swaddled.

I used to do that with our boy.
hold him tightly,
talk to him
coo to him
breathe on him
whisper directly on him my words touching his skin
pressing my love into his mind, his spirit
through my lips
through his skin his hair.

I can see the surface of his skin is actually transparent
the light comes through like the glass on a table top,
you can see the glass and the table.
his skin is like that.
I can see it and see through it.

eyes so wide
what does he see?
my face, it fills his horizon
I'm all he can see
Do you hear me?
I love you son
I love you son
I am here
I am here in your heart
feel that?
I am with you
always.
look inside, I'm there.
you're never ever alone.
I know you know.

go on now.
scat
run and play.
it's your world
your whole world
you pick!
take it all!
smell that?
aaaahhhhhh
breathe again.
you remember, don't you.
yes
we shared breaths
I held you *that* close.
you couldn't tell my pats from your heartbeats.
.
god
oh god.
.
I'm trying to see through your eyes.
oh my god.
I'm sorry so sorry son
I'm so sorry.
I know it's awful now.
you're absolutely right.
you're right
when you're right, you're right.
you're right

I'm sorry.
listen.
look here.
come here.
comehere a second.
yes,
it's ok.
gonna be ok.
gonna be ok
yes sir
gonna be ok.
s'ok.
yessir.
ssssshhhhh
.
shhhhh.

s'okay...
shhh