Well, they can't seem to figure out what exactly is wrong with me, but it seems to be a muscular problem. But this is what shocked me...
I live in the 2nd fattest city in the US. My diet has only gotten healthier in the past week and a half. I have gained 20 pounds in the past 2 years, and I am a rather large man. However, all my blood tests came back normal, so it appears that I am still relatively healthy. Then I got my cholesterol score:
208.
208?!
Are you shitting me?! That's all?! Granted, it needs to come down, but I figured it would be over 300. All those cheesesteaks were not for naught.

But at least I'm trying to clean up my act before I completely fall apart...