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Ok. I just heard a brief explanation of what Scientologists believe.
And now I'm like wtf.
But I think my roommate got this from South Park so it might all be wrong.
But something like 50K years ago aliens came, exterminated all other aliens, froze themselves on earth, found monkeys, put their alien souls into the monkeys, and became humans. Humans have an alien soul in them that scientology can suck out of you with a machine.
Am I on target? Or at least batting 500?
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