[Kitsune]

Time to share more aspects of corporate life that are amusing in a sick or sad way...

The two dozen of us had been pulled into a conference room for a meeting on what had been a fairly normal Monday. People were busy chatting about football games, cookouts, and all the normal weekend topics office drones carry on about while waiting for the staff meeting to begin. In the middle of the table, a speaker phone beeped to announce that our director (who worked at another office) had joined the conference number to speak to us. My manager, sitting across from me, had a long and unhappy look on his face. On seeing this, I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that only grew worse as our director addressed the group.

"Good morning", he said in a flat tone followed by a heavy sigh, "I, uh... well, I have some bad news and I want to get it out of the way." The volume in the room quickly dropped. "You've all heard there have been budget cuts, recently, and we've done everything we can to tighten our belts." I winced. "Unfortunately, I have to tell you all that we're going to lose a lot of good, talented people to these cuts." Some in the room emitted groans of disgust as a thick depression set in. Blank stares, furrowed brows, and silence ruled the room until someone asked, "How many?"

"Somewhere between ten and twenty-five percent."

I looked over to see a co-worker's head hit the table in frustration. I threw my pencil across the room, knowing that my contract position was guaranteed to be eliminated. Those that lost their jobs were in for a world of hurt while those that were retained by the company were going to be completely swamped by a mountain of work. Everyone was screwed. No one said a thing. It felt like minutes went by as the director searched for the right words, something to say to his people, something to reassure them that life would go on and the world wasn't ending, words from a leader to shake us from shock.

"In light of this, uh, information", he stuttered, "...you may all wear jeans for the rest of the week."

Total silence. Some confused looks. Had we heard him right? Had our director attempted to ease the pain of a major layoff announcement by extending casual Friday? Was this a joke?

"...since, ah, you might as well be comfortable during this difficult time. Thank you, uh, for your time." The conference line beeped to signal he had hung up.

That was the day I changed. From then, on, I knew I could never treat a job at a major corporation seriously ever again.