There are different types of orgasms. The one from clitoral stimulation is different from a g-spot orgasm or vaginal, and all of those are different from the kind I have when I'm on top. I can have two different kinds of clitoral orgasm, one vaginal and one clitoral (and can have them simultaneously, when I'm lucky). I did not have (and had never had) any orgasms for many years, although sex was enjoyable. The turning point was when I started buying toys (I'd stayed away because so many people said it ruined sex with a partner). I found out that what turns me on is not in/out motion, but circular. I discovered that the left side of my clitoris is more sensitive than the right. And I overcame my self-conciousness at letting go enough to tip 'over the edge'. I've also found that the more I self-stimulate, the easier it is to orgasm with a partner. If I go a long time without taking care of myself, it becomes nearly impossible with a partner. The partner makes a huge difference too, as well as my emotional connection to him.
Sorry if this is too much information
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