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I worked at a few restaurants years ago in S Tx. Unfortunately, these people had no clue about tipping. We were lucky to end the night with a 7% average. They thought that it should be an option (and it is, to a point), and usually left whatever pocket change they had. One (shitty) night, I had a table of 5. Our cutoff for gratuity included was 6, I believe. Their final bill came to almost 85$ or so, and the guy hands me 85 bucks. I come back with the change as he and the group were leaving, and handed it to him. "No, you keep it. The service was great!" My reply? "Sir, it looks like you need it more than I do." I couldn't believe I said it after they were gone. Several other people heard me, and seemed a little amazed as well.
One of the worst tippers I've ever come across was Abe Quintinilla. I know most of you probably don't follow Latina musica (neither do I), but this was Selena's dad. (You know -- the chick that got shot by her manager...the same chick that J-Lo did that movie about...whatever.) So this guy has millions after his daughter has died, and even more after he's sued everyone possible for using her name once he licensed it. He used to come in with various business clients and order quite a bit o' stuff, but leave almost nothing on the table. We (the waitstaff) used to get into arguments about who would serve him. I had him several times, and finally realized that no matter what you did to please him, it wouldn't help. So I just started jacking up his order, "forgetting" refills, etc. What's the point of trying when it only matters to you? I didn't take any pride in the job, so it didn't matter.
That was around the time I came up with my million-dollar idea (the fourth or fifth one, actually). Each table in a restaurant is outfitted with a small digital billboard-type sign (about the size of your keyboard). The sign is setup as a counter, in the form of 99.99, and is used to count down the server's tip. Possible scenario:
The hostess seats a party, and starts the clock. The clock starts at 20%. It counts down until the server arrives. Once he arrives to take their drink order, he stops the clock. After he leaves the table to retrieve the drinks, he has a grace period before they are allowed to restart the clock. Throughout the meal, this continues as they need him for refills, more X, an extra Y -- you get the picture. As he is preparing the bill, the final amount on the clock is added in as gratuity.
Several rules have to be in place for this to work: The tip-counter and grace-period have to move at a pace that is respected by both the server and patron. I assume that .5%/minute would work for the counter, and a 3-minute grace should work for both parties. Also, the patron may only start the clock for valid requests. Asking him to come back to repeat the specials of the day is not a valid request. Needing extra mayonaisse or dropping your fork on the floor is, though. And larger parties' counter would have to either start at a higher rate, or count slower.
Decent idea? What do you think? Gimme some feedback, Jack.
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