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I think a part of the problem (one with which I am all too familiar myself) is that you seem to keep looking for a way to fix the problems in your relationship, anon. If I am not mistaken there is, unfortunately, just too big a difference between the two of you. I don't see it as a matter of someone making a mistake, but rather being true to their own nature. The gap between your respective natures is apparently too great.
I understand that keeping on keeping on is easier said than done. The sad fact is that you must find your way to do just that, however. Anyone (family, friends) who cares about you can show support and it would probably be wise for you to take all you can get, not worrying about anything such as "being a burden" to others.
As to depression, I hope others will soon be able to offer something constructive. I know I went through my own, yet it was relatively mild (thank God). I managed to bull through without professional help, but at the expense of spending a couple of years in solitude (when not at work, where I din't have the same sorts of responsibilities that you do).
Keep talking to us as long as it brings you any comfort and help. We really do care.
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